To Be Empathetic Is To Stop Problem Solving.


When someone shares their problems with you, find out whether they’re looking for a solution or a listening ear.

Often, when people share their problems, they’re well aware of the potential solutions. The point of sharing their problems is to invite you into their world, so they can feel a little less alone.

Frustration is inevitable when one person tries to invite the other into their present scenario, but the other keeps moving the conversation to a future scenario where all problems will be sorted out.

Empathy is about being present.

You can’t be present if you’re problem solving, as it involves thinking about the future.

Must you then sit still and just nod along when someone shares their problems with you?


Ask questions to get a deeper understanding of the problems they’re facing, so they recognize you are, in fact, there with them in their world.

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About the author

Wesley van der Hoop

Dutchman living in The Bahamas. I get excited about digital marketing, writing, traveling, surfing and learning new things.

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